


The Half Of It

by AhmBacon



Category: The Half of It (2020)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-02 10:41:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,250
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23969995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AhmBacon/pseuds/AhmBacon
Summary: Ellie and Aster after a couple of years.
Relationships: Ellie Chu & Aster Flores, Ellie Chu/Aster Flores
Comments: 26
Kudos: 445





	1. The Other Half Of It

She never regretted anything – from secretly liking the girl from Sacramento for years to eventually kissing her; she never regretted any of it, but if there is even in the slightest, it’s probably not being able to explore their so-called love story the way she wanted.

Going back and forth Grinnell and Squahamish for every weekend gave her just enough time to spend with her father and best friend Paul. Ellie would tell stories about her week in school and Paul would be bragging about his newly invented sauce for his taco sausage while her dad would be listening to them, occasionally throwing in some English he learned from the television to not be left out in the conversation.

It was nice but she misses Aster; the girl she bravely kissed in the middle of the road.

What was she thinking, right?

Ellie didn’t know what came over her; one second she was walking away from the girl and the next thing she know, she was already kissing her. It was a hundred and eighty degree turn over. She didn’t know what to say so she said the first thing that went over her head, ‘I'll see you in a couple of years.’ before leaving the obviously shocked Aster behind. She didn’t even bother to look back.

That happened three years ago and Ellie still doesn’t have the courage to find Aster, yet.

What if she never became sure?

What if she did but she already found someone else?

What if…

For those three years, Ellie never had any crushes on anyone else. She hadn’t like anyone in her class, in her dorm or in her school like the way she did with Aster. She never met anyone who could make her question the existence of anything and everything in between. She never met anyone who could make a hopeless romantic poet out of her. For Ellie, it was just Aster – it has always been Aster; so thinking that the girl had already moved on breaks her heart a little more than necessary.

She tried writing her letters, but she prefers to talk about her own feelings face-to-face now than writing them in words, unlike before. Aster knows anyway. And besides, Ellie thinks it’s something they should talk about in person.

But it scares her.

What if after all those years, Aster never really felt anything? What if what happened between them never really meant a thing? What if none of it really mattered?

When did she become such a coward?

Wasn’t she the one who made a scene in their church by saying that love is not patient and kind and humble? That love is messy and horrible and selfish and bold? That it’s not finding your perfect half? That it’s the trying and reaching and failing? That love is being willing to ruin your good painting for a chance at a great one?

Where did her boldness go?

Ellie packed her things and made sure that she’s not forgetting anything – from her dad’s homemade food for the upcoming week to her best friend’s taco sausage with his six different sauces to complete the meal; she wouldn’t have survived without those. She was about to leave their house and was surprised to have opened the door to the girl who had been occupying her mind and her heart for quite some time now.

“Aster?” Ellie asked, making sure she wasn’t just day dreaming.

“You still have room for one more?” Aster asked back, handing Ellie a framed canvass. On it was a silhouette of two girls kissing, with a cursive _‘I’m sure now.’_ written below it.

It was all it took for Ellie to drop everything on the floor and lock their lips together.

Her mother was right; every music, every movie, every story has a best part – and right now, for Ellie, ** _this_** was it.


	2. The Rest Of It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aster and Ellie after a couple of years.

Three years and Aster felt like she’s again back to square one – back to where she felt trapped in her own home, in her own mind, where everything felt so constrained, where she feels helpless and useless at the same time.

Art school is bearable, only if she’s too inspired to finally impress her professors. Three years in but the only thing she accomplished is that she’s been labeled as stereotype; typically one of those artists that aren’t bad but aren’t good enough either.

And sometime she wonders; why does it seem like life is too hard for her to live? Like she isn’t good enough for anything at all?

Her mediocre life is suffocating, if not draining. So she pretends and prays that she’ll be able to keep her facade on for however long she can.

Her dad is too religious to understand what she’s going through, neither is her mom; her younger sister knows some but can only comprehend much. That’s why she chose to stay in the Art School than be at home; at least she doesn’t have to pretend all the time. She just feels so alone and has no one genuine enough to really confide in.

She misses Ellie and how the girl brought some kind of adventure, if not silliness, into her boring life. Is finally seeing things for what they are, silly? Is being true to herself, silly?

Probably so, then she misses having someone she can be silly with – and that’s Ellie.

Aster broke up with Trig right after the church incident, citing that he’s too compassionate with everybody which will only complicate things. She’s not everybody and she doesn’t share. If her dad caught on her sarcasm, she couldn’t even care less, she’s just happy to cut her ties with her self-absorbed ex-boyfriend.

And she had been single since then. She did go to a few movie dates and dinners but none picks her interest. All of them tried to date her just because she’s beautiful but none of them tried to get to know her deeper, to understand every bit of her. None of them tried. None of them.

No one has ever made her feel confused, excited and understood the way Ellie did, and for that she missed the girl even more.

_‘If things we’re different….’_

Oscar Wilde once said that in love, one always starts by deceiving oneself, and ends by deceiving others. That is what the world calls a romance. It’s partly true, she did managed to deceive herself and the people around her but that is not love; she should not pretend to be something or someone else to be able to love and be loved back.

_‘or I was different.’_

Love should be honest and true.

Aster was standing in front of her mirror, like one of the many nights where she misses Ellie and the scene where Ellie ran back to her to kiss her played on her mind like a replay. She found herself tracing along her lips as she remembered how the kiss felt; how Ellie’s soft lips felt against hers, how it moved as they kissed, how lost she was in that moment that it didn’t even matter that they were in the middle of the road and for everyone to see. She didn’t care, Ellie didn’t care. They kissed and it just felt so right – so right, that everything finally made sense to her.

And so, Aster picked up her brush and started mixing black and white and gray colors on her blank canvass and as she did, she knew - **_she was sure._**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still in love with Aster and Ellie.
> 
> If you like what you've read, feel free to leave some comments.

**Author's Note:**

> Im in love with Ellie and Aster.
> 
> If you enjoyed reading this, please feel free to leave a comment.


End file.
